your love for me isn't real

And I don't think your love for me is real
and maybe it's all an lie and a fantasy
a mind projection
part of a grand experiment
cool and unsympathetic
without knowing the cost
that I conjure in my imagination
and it's all in my sick mind
I don't have anything for you to gain from
I'm a sick person
for just wanting to be with you
and in my sickness and misery
I want to be loved by you, held by you, comfort by you
but that is all but a meager dream
I pray for God to help me through the confusion and depression
and that I wish
I don't have a love problem
A childhood problem
Problems with children and spouse
Problem with parents and dealing with love, loss, anger, grief,
and death of one thing over another
Real or not real?
The real question is
do you love me at all, or was it all a lie?