Amnesia

Alone again, looking at the same sky
eyes unblinking, eyes vacant
heart unresponsive
mind is split between this world and the other
depressed but for a different reason
you left me
and I haven't forgiven you yet
and you couldn't impressed me
and you couldn't fufilled me
I don't know how you want me to love you
because I am tired, wreary, and exhausted
I don't know the rules of this game
I don't know what to do
I didn't ask for this Fate to be king or queen
I was roleplaying along, and thought it was only fiction
a manifestion of what I lack
Imagination is just another form of gilded fantasy
and glossed over desires

I don't remember anything
I am in amnesia and this is something you have to tolerate
I can't remember your name
I can't remember where we're from
Same pain, same soul, same sorrow
where our love must die in the same despair
because in the end,
I'm extremely selfish
and you must accept that if you won my love
I must do so blindly without guidance

I am the Queen and I am your mother
I am the King and I am the rightful ruler
And I am the Goddess who gave birth to you
And I am the God who gave you an heir

Do not mistaken me of one over the other
I cannot love you if you love one of my sides
For I am one and the same
If you don't love me as a girl
then I don't love you as a man
If you love me as a woman,
then I'll be happy never to be a man
but accept that I'm an ugly woman
and even if I were a handsome man destined to become King,
I rather be an ugly monk serving god because I get my inner peace
Deep inside my tormented heart, I wanted to be a woman
because I'm tired, I am tired, I am tired
Can't you not see and understand the agony of my soul and how this contradicts itself?
This is why, I'm only human.

I can't do everything in a single leap to the illusions and lies I feed myself
And this is why you're free to walk away and divorce me
Because someday
I will die from exhaustion and from being trapped from your love
and if I die before my contract ends
It'll be all your fault
and you will be laughed at and be humiliated
because of my despair and sorrow
and I'll go relinquished both of my titles
Titles that meant nothing but to be a
figurehead of a Godhead
and be a poor, ugly person
who lives alone
who dies alone
That is the fate of your King and also Queen
I must die in the Face of God
I must die as a monk with barefeet
I must live at the humiliation of my mother and brother
I must suffer for all the sins we endure
I guess that's all it is
I must suffer, I must suffer, I must suffer
I can never be happy with Love
because I cannot do both ends
that divides my soul into two

Undying love

I love you
I love so tirelessly
We can't be friends at this point
Because I remember now
that my love for you will never die
More than anyone, more than anyone
I gaze at you
Always been all the long
You have such a kind heart
and a brave soul to play pretend to be my friend
More than ever now, more then ever now
I regret
and if you don't accept how my feelings for you
blossom like a flower
I will accept then that I must walk alone
holding my love for you
and for every flower I grow in my garden
I remember how you save me
from my own destructive fire
of passion forgotten and lost
only to be regain by your
undying love
and I remember
I remember
You will die for me
your one and only love
I am the priestess you're love with in
hopelessly, madly, endlessly
An endless love
that I promise I'll never forget
that I vow my heart and soul to you
but as a part of the deal
I forgot
and you must learn to deal with my amnesia
because you need to learn
how to watch me learn to love another
until I finally remember through clues and bits
as a test to our love
and by meeting again by chance
only through a dream
and now that I remember
your love and kindness
I figure now I have no choice
but to follow you