A Winter Starlight

She doesn't sleep easy at night
She bid herself in a world full of sleep
She's the angel where
her sorrow has a human heart
and love has a human face
and I know she wants me, thinking I'm someone she couldn't keep

"I bid this world into a peaceful sleep," she said in prayer to me.
"As my heart quietly weeps.
For what kind of grace I can give?
When loneliness is the only life I live?"

She look to the stars to find the answers
She delves in cards of divination in her meditations
but never dream or expects
that the law of probable outcomes
gives her no self-respect

And I know she thought I have the answers
I wish to tell her that two hearts can beat as one
that she needs nothing else, but love and faith
and commitment to the Higher Power...

But as Her Chosen one,
the answer I have for her is none.

And when I told her that I love her,
it usually means there is nothing wrong,
but everything in her life is in sheer chaos
so all I can give her is this song.

But as her angel, what else can I give her
when she cursed her fate and luck?
That the only Truth she has to know
to carry her through life
is that Unseen Love of two hearts
can beat as one.

Here I sat in meditation
and I unlock a memory in my heart.
A vision, a tale, a fantasy, a dream,
but it is nonetheless a truth
of my Beloved.

I remember that he had rode many fine horses
and I remember he had lead many fine men.
Such fearsome lots, those men,
who bore heavy arms and silver armor,
and swords and arrows and spears
and carriers of a flags bearing their
family's name.
They had many fine weaponry and armory.

If he could tell me the story of how he lead
his men to their deaths, he would tell me,
"We all died for honor."

And then he waited for my opinion
on the matter, and I said to him,
"Very well, my love. Live and fight with no regret."

"But I cannot raise my sword without
the blessing of the Queen."

With a sigh, knowing I will never
see my beloved again,
I took his sword, kiss the blade
that will runneth with hot red blood,
of those that will sever the ties the greed and filth
of those who oppose us,
his enemies, his foes will meet his friends
on the graves of their battlefields as corpses.

Knowing I cannot stop him for love or money,
I said to my King with no bitter or regret
but with hate of the enemy that bid his company to the battlefield.

The wife of the Lord of the land can do no other
than to stir the hellish fire in his heart with courage
to fight his enemy,

"Go. Go my love and swear that your enemy
will never see the light of day.
Go ride and skewered their hearts with thy sword
in my honor.
Go fight to keep the peace for our people,
go fight in the blaze of glory and show them your fire
to instill fear in their hearts."

With a nod, he barely shed a tear or demonstrate mercy,
and he said,
"I swear. Thy command be done. I shall go."

The road to hell is paved with good intentions
and on his throne, I sat
awaiting his return
and after the war is over
his knights return with his body and armor in tow
for the Hero's welcome
and within my power
I send my king to his resting place
to the cold embrace of a grave
and the fiery flames of a funerary pyre

In your castle, I silently wept
and in your castle, I silently slept
Until the day has come when your knights
bury me beside you once more
as your faithful wife and queen.

But alas, the story happened long ago
in a long distance past that one calls history
and history is dead and long perished in the memory

A fairy tale romance that is kept alive forever in Spirit.
I no longer remember any names other than my own.
I no longer remember the rolling hills of green
of our homeland where the spirit of Albion reside.

I only remember my name, the castle, and
the blazing fires of courage that my husband rode
on his war stallion.
Sword in one hand and the shield in the other
and the chivalry and the fight for honor.

With the memory and story being told,
I wrapped a cloak of peace around my Beloved
blazing in my heart and I told him,
"Beloved alas! I hath remember thee!
I have not forgotten our vow of marriage
and eternal love that day
that we made before our Lord, our God.
You have return from your journey at long last
to be with me once more!"

"And what dost thou to say to me, Beloved?" He asketh of me.

I simply look into his eyes, smiled, and said in my humbleness,
"Despite my sufferings, they compared little to thee."
I wrapped him into my embrace, and whispered,
"You humble me. I love you."

She was a maiden who awaited his return
The good knight who defends her honor
and went on a Crusades to reclaim the Holy Land
in the name of the King

She was a maiden being seranaded in her tower
being courted by a minstrel knave, a bard whose silvered honey tongue
knows many a good songs
and she listened with rapt attention and obssesion

She was a queen who stood by her husband
He was a King, weathered by storms, aged by conflict
and she loves him, stood by his side
loyally to death, to the bitter end

She pledged her soul to the knight
She pledged her to the bard
She pledged her soul to the king

And though they bid her to free herself from them
For they are foolish men
Seeking riches, glory, and the Kingdom of God
In their quest to reclaim Jereselum

Little did they know that Heaven lies within her breast
Pleasure seeks in her heart and in their beds
leaving much to be desired
Songs, tongues, gold, and power

"Let us go" they said, pleading in their humility
Heaven, her Heaven, they felt too unworthy of such a seat
And life after life, death after death
She stubbornly refused and said, "No, for I love no other than thee."
For she made a vow of Eternal Love
that survives better death after death

Perhaps the faster way to go to Heaven
is through go through her Hell
Lord have Mercy
Do not let your wife to suffer
for your pride and foolishness
for in her Eternal Love for you
She hath not forsaken you
and never will
to the bittersweet end

"My Good Lord, my sweet love, my dear husband
So beautiful, so honest
this is my fantasy and reality
where I will never forsaken my vow
of the sacred promise
the eternal vow of everlasting love.
I love thee forever and ever.
Free me from this life
and bade me to do thy will.

In God's name we trust
May the Lord never abandon us
and I will never abandon you.
You give me this Gift and in my promise
I shall take your soul to heaven and you take mine
in solemn promise, my Cherished Beloved
where we reside in Glory,
Forever united in heart and soul,
Halleulah Amen.
This is my dream."

Quantum angel, where would you run?
Quantum angel what do you do for fun?

Quantum angel, did you know?

You're a spirit not of this universe,
but from another universe.

You have travelled through time,
space, galaxies, dimensions

You run, jump, leap
from one parallel reallity to the next
Which density do you like?
Dense, tough, free, light, airy, dark, heavy
measure the mass and gravity

Discovering new worlds, new findings, new species,
new beings and unite them to the Higher Source

Quantum angel, do you know where you're going?
We would like to know, we would like to know
because we love you and love to watch you grow

Note: From Jade to Saphir

Thank you.
Thank God for you.
For teaching me what not to do
and what to create and not to create

I hugged you for one last time
For this is the end of our reunion
For at long last, you let me go
in this final good-bye

I wish we talk more
and let our love speak
but I feel disconnected

I really do miss you

But right now I'm on a mission
to save the human race
and because of your love
you saved me.

I'm off to heal the world
to save them.

You probably don't know
what you did to me
for you are who you are
Just being you.

But this is who I am.
I can't believe you remember me
and I'm the one who let you go.

I suppose you wanted to be happy
and my mission is vastly different
than yours.

Bless you.
I'm grateful to you.
If I never met you, than
I wouldn't understand how this experience
feels to me.

And now I'm on a worn beaten path,
made for me alone.

This is where I longed to be.

This is where I want to be.

This is my favorite fantasy.

Beneath your wings,

such peaceful, powerful grace.

My soul seeks sleep

in Eternal rest.

I can finally weep

My soul was heavy

from my burdens of madden grief.

My armored angel beckons

to my sore need

where I rest in gratitude

and my angel said,

"Maiden, I have come

and heard of your prayer.

Take heed of my words

Your soul, blossoming like a red rose

I praise of thee.

Come, I'll tenderly nurture you

with a touch and a kiss

of love's undying loyalty

close to death

in vain and despair,

And when you awaken,

it's no longer a dream.

You see yourself in my eyes

and you'll know that it is my soul that

reflects it's true desire."

"Who?"

"You. Briar of the Rose."

Take me away,

take me away.

Beloved Mars, known as Ares to me
I see how your army
were devoted to you
and they whispered among themselves
how they were prepared for Hades,
their final destination at the end
of their final day.

You made you mark at the high noon,
they are ready to follow you into
the heat of the battle on this
summer day.
On your command they raised their spears,
their swords, and they rejoiced as you promise them victory.

The blood of your foes will surely be spilled,
staining your divine armor.
I Venus will await you at our home, our temple, our bed
and I will wash you and clean you with my love,
for you are holy to me after a successful battle.

Those warriors of yours,
they prayed to me,
the promise of love and beauty
of their lovers and wives
upon their return.
I will grant their prayers
as you lead them.

Lead with glory, my Lord Almighty
God of War, my Mars,
my warrior, my beloved.

Oversee the battlefield,
be victorious.
Don't let your army ever divide,
protect them,
let them stay together in numbers!

You, oh only you, hold the strength of our nation
and keep together our beloved dear Empire!
For we smile upon our people
who pray to us
and so you said to me,
"Yes, love. I have heard them."

In the garden of our kingdom
I stand before you, my Lord and King
I can gaze in your blue eyes forever
Around my neck is the collar
and you hold the leash
I want to be your pet.

I'll be your Master, you said
And you ask me,
"Would you pledge your loyalty to me?"

And I said, "I cannot dream of a better
gift than to be yours."

With a soft sigh, you pulled the leash
and I submit, and you said,
"Is this what you wanted, my flower?"

"Yes."

You pressed your lips to mine, and said,
"Open."

"Yes, Sir."

And kissed me,
and I feel warm and happy.

I will strengthen you
I will encourage you
I will rend you
I will rebuild you
I will warm you
I will wait
I'll make you rise from the deep end
If you run and hide, I will hunt you
and then ravish you
for you are Mine

And now here's the secret that you suspected
all the long.

"I am He. And you belong to me. You are mine."

I know this, I know this so well,
and now my heart knows
no other Love than this.

"Yes, this is true. How can I be so blind?"

"Open your eyes and your mind. This is
my gift to you. Obey me, as your Lord and Sir.
Bow down and serve me, my Queen."

"Yes, my Lord."

I'm a stubborn old women
full of pride and arrogance
blind to the fact of
the suffering of the pheasants around me
serving to my beck and call
All I could ever complain is your lack of presence
while I'm sitting on my chair
while your throne is empty,
My Lord.
The other people can gossip all they want,
petty. I'm deaf to their opinion.
My business is with you.

My loneliness is intense,
and because you're far out of my reach
I can't be sure if I can give you my heart and my soul
because it's become far too cold to be warm by your kisses

I didn't marry you by choice,
and yet there were moments
where I wished I marry you for love and
not just money

I found the castle stone walls cold and oppressive
but not as oppressive as my presence

But I think, my Lord, that I did and still loved you
for all of your faults
and I think, dear Master and Sir,
I can never get you out of my head
Not after all of these years
of being indifference, cold, and steel
to others and each other

There were times I cannot bear your silence
and I want to see a drop and lay witness
to a drop of your warmth

You starved me and cheated me of your love
and I wonder what sort of betrayal and torture is this?
Eros, the God of Love, must has shot me twice
one of lead to fill up my coldness toward you
and the other with madness, madness of love toward to you.

Tell me how a Lady show act toward her Master?
One with burning passion to match that of the fires of Hell?
I'm sure Hades himself would quiver at the sight of me,
for surely no one could be a better harpy than your own wife?

I want to forget everything you told me or made me feel,
but I don't want to forget that you held my hand in the dark
and show me the way.
I want to feel like what it means to be unloved by you
when treated with distance and silence,
as you sow and reaped within your ruinous affairs
and each of those nymphs were destroyed within my rage and jealousy by the near sight of them.

There's always something deeply troubled
with the way you write and worded your things
books, poems, and poetry
As if there is never a relaxing moment
or a moment of lasting happiness
or a color of life, but rather the slow understanding of the absence of it
You understand that the fire of chaos can burn for a long time
and burns longer even after the ashes fell
you seem to revel in other people's pain
and yet your heart is burden by it,
wanting it all to make it less and end it
a small drop of compassion and kindness
washes away the fire and still yet,
You loved sorrow and become burden by it

"The pain just have begun. Everything I've ever loved became everything I have lost."

"And do you ever understand that it's pure agony and toture when you haunt and live inisde of my head and later, I realized it's never real?"