Getting through the day

I wear different faces
depending on the mood

Thoughtful, criticizing, judgemental,
yes, that's what I think about people

Quiet, outspoken, tiredness, burnt-out,
nonchalance, indifference, detachment, but not apathy
Yes, that's how I speak and act towards others

Paranoia, constantly thinking, anxiety performance,
money, what do people about me, how I speak my words,
how to avoid rudness which ties with extreme anger, depression,
and anxiety
preoccupation in doing it right and master it
yes, that's how I worry everyday

Happiness is a mask I hardly wear,
my mask lacks a smile, but
when I force it, it's more of a curiousity
and let's move along and do our best
and get it over with instead of being in it
but when I'm done, I'm glad it's over
and I'm done

High expectations of getting things done on time, lack of concern for another person's feelings,
distance
that's how I relate to other people in a stand-offish way

A forlorn look, a sad look, a look that hardly smiles
I can't fake it, this is my real demeanor day to day

I want to find the highest excitement,
but for me, it just getting through the day
greeting the night and sleep and dream and rest