To the love I can't remember

I think the most tragic thing
is that I love you and in love with you
but I don't remember why
or I don't our names or our past

And I cursed your name and your reputation
and there are lies and betrays and falsehood
There are crimes of accusation and crimes that cannot be spoken
and none of them are true

The mind broke by illusion and reality is lost
Fact and fiction and truth
I cannot tell the difference

And the tragic thing is,
as I play guessing games
the past begins to reveal itself

Once upon a time I was your betroth
and the land of the three green gems were at war
with each other
and I was kidnapped, tortured, and killed
and revenge is all you can ever think of

Imprisoned by the lord the land,
you pick up the sword and fight
not caring who you killed or who would die

I was gone before you
Death claimed me
but you lived on painfully so

I think in the present
What's important is to remember the past as if
it was a movie that explains the reason why
and then move on
and focus on growing up spirituality together
learning new lessons
in life and rebirth

I suppose this lack of a memory isn't punishment
but more like the amnesia is necessary as a lesson
and I just simply have to try to find my way back to you
as you leave the cards and clues

Unlike other people, I do not remember at my own leisure
and find pain, misery, and anger and frustration
in not remembering because trauma blocked me
and I lost my mind and made people suffered
because they don't understand how I suffered
and kept it for so long that it becomes a numb feeling
and I forgot what I desired in the first place
and one simply have to reclaim what was loss
to regain and remember